


Re:Birth

by Leonee



Series: Memories [7]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: M/M, the long awaited finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 13:50:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9237791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leonee/pseuds/Leonee
Summary: Their fate was sealed at V14. He had been stupid, naïve, to think that this could end in any other way.What had started in Cochlea, would end there now.





	

**Author's Note:**

> The final fic of "Memories" and the last day of Arima Week...
> 
> Prompt: Birth
> 
> To the people who have stuck by me till the end, left comments and kudos, thank you all so much. You have no idea how much you mean to me. If it weren't for your support, I would have easily been discouraged and given up. I'm sending you love and hugs ヽ(^◇^*)/ 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this one as well and stick with me for many more fics to come...

The flowers were trampled under their feet, some ripped off and scattered all over the ground from the heat of their fight. The soil was exposed where they had been violently torn from their places; almost forming a pathway leading to Kaneki Ken’s severed body lying bloodied on the ground. Legs thrown off elsewhere, away from his beaten and tired body... Incoherent, painful sounds were leaving his lips as he writhed in agony.

_Haise was lying on his back, panting and clutching the sheets beneath him. A thin layer of sweat covered his delicate skin. He looked up to him and their eyes met. Pupils dilated, lips parted with desire… Soft sounds of pleasure were falling from his rosy lips as his lover kissed his way down his bare chest._

Arima stood away from him, unable to tear his eyes away.  

What was the point of pretending? In his twisted life, pain had always come first. Not love. He had had one purpose from the very beginning. Falling in love wasn’t it. Their fate was sealed at V14. He had been stupid, _naïve_ , to think that this could end in any other way. Heated dreams of peace and quiet as he lied entangled in his lover’s arms… He had known that there was no future for them all along. So why had he…

He activated IXA’s shield right before Kaneki’s kagune crashed into it. The impact was so strong he felt the strain in his muscles trying to keep his grip tight on IXA. It was like a scene from another lifetime, a reminiscent of their encounter in the tunnels. Only this time…

_Ah._

IXA’s defensive shield was smashed into pieces and he had to take a few steps back to avoid another hit from the frantic kagune. The strikes were powerful enough to punch holes in the ground.

_You really have gotten strong._

When the dust cleared, in the midst of the flower field, he saw a monstrous kakuja staring back at him. The beaten and bloodied young man was gone. A scaled mask was covering his beautiful face, kagune taking the place of his severed legs. Beady, reptilian eyes were rolling in their sockets. The creature was hideous, revolting. And yet, when he looked at him, he saw something so different from a deranged kakuja ghoul. Underneath the scaly armor, he was beautiful.

_Haise breathed heavily beneath him, nails digging into his back. A low sound escaped his pretty mouth. Arima took a moment to rest his forehead against his lover’s before leaning down to kiss him again. Every fiber of his being was in flames. Every touch burned. It was almost unbearable. He dug his fingers into the pillow, overwhelmed by the sensations taking over his body. Haise softly caressed his hair as Arima buried his face into the crook of his neck so he could pepper kisses all over it. He felt his pulse beneath his lips. Haise’s legs were tight around his waist as he did. Almost possessive…_

He discarded the broken IXA. “The quinque.” He spoke into the earpiece. “I’m underground.”

“ _Roger_.”

A briefcase fell from above and hit the ground with a thud.

_Owl._

It had been so long since he even thought about this quinque. His grip tightened.

Kaneki was fast but not as fast as Arima. He easily dodged his attacks. He could feel that Kaneki wasn’t focused enough; his mind was going between sanity and demetia. His attacks were sloppy. He could never win like this. He needed to slip back into his calm state of mind. Arima had to beat some sense into him.

_Haise’s moans were accompanied by soft giggles as Arima touched and kissed all the right places. How he loved to see him squirm with pleasure…_

Now all he could give him was a kiss of his blade.

He cut him again and again. It was so easy, he had to hold back before he went too far. Blood rained down onto him. It stained his shoulders, his hands, his face… He could taste it on his lips and he felt nauseous. He had to do this; he couldn’t let his feelings get involved. This was for the best. He would set him free.

He watched as Haise threw up blood. In the horrifying wounds adorning Haise’s body, he could see the consequences of every choice he made. Arima had torn him into pieces. This lovely body he all but worshipped…

_He pressed his lips on his lover’s shoulder as they lay on their sides. Haise’s hand came to cup his cheek and he was pulled in for a kiss. He kissed him slowly, savoring every touch. His thumb caressed Haise’s cheek and traced the shape of his lips. When Haise raised his hand to mimic the movement, Arima kissed his thumb. He was greeted with a smile so beautiful; he would remember it as long as he lived. He whispered. “I love you.”_

He still did. He always would.

_Do you? Do you still love me?_

_Do you think it was all a lie? A charade I put on to gain your trust? Perhaps you think I was using you. To you, I must be no different than any other member of the CCG. I took advantage of you. I told you that I loved you and I only hurt you in the end._

He numbly stared at the body lying limp on the ground.

_Are you angry? Do you want to kill me? You know I deserve it. You know it better than anyone else._

He watched the ruined flower field. He thought of the books they read, the discussions they had, Haise’s coffee… The days Haise spent at Arima’s home, Arima’s visits to the Chateau… He wished he remembered more of their short time together. Human memory was so weak; he knew that his own had decayed even further because of his condition. He couldn’t recall their talks as vividly, even the touches and kisses he tried so hard to etch into his memory was disappearing.

He was disappearing.

He recognized the sound of flesh stitching itself back together and turned to face Kaneki who was standing on his kagune legs, appendages emerging from his back. He slowly lifted his head to look up at him.

Arima nearly sighed at his beauty. His white hair, the smile that graced his lips... He was radiant despite the blood stains adorning his cheeks.

Haise.

_Will you be able to do it? Give me what I want?_

Kaneki, _Haise_ , fought with a newfound determination now. A new strength, a new fire that raged on inside of him.... Good. He would need it soon.

He dodged his attacks and countered them with his own. This time Haise avoided his strikes. He was quick and clever with his moves. He had found his fortitude, born again from the ashes Arima had made out of him.

_You don’t need me anymore._

He was ready.

Arima escaped from Haise’s kagune cage and destroyed the tentacles that threatened to strike him. He looked around to spot his opponent but he was nowhere to be found. His eyes scanned the area. Where was he? Had he escaped? Was he hiding?

He heard a rustling from underground and swung his quinque to slay the kagune appendages that surfaced from underneath. An ambush. He easily sliced through them and-

“Aaah!”

He instinctively turned to strike his opponent whose cry had echoed from somewhere behind. His blade collided with… a kagune mouth…

Ah.

“I… win…”

Taking advantage of the opening his trap had provided, Haise attacked him viciously and when Arima tried to shield himself with the quinque, the blade shattered under the brute force of Haise’s rinkaku.

He backed away, put off balance by the impact. He wasn’t hurt, just… He looked at the last of his quinques, irreparably damaged.

_Go on. Finish it._

He hated him didn’t he? Why didn’t he get over with it already?

_“Mmm…” He leaned down so Haise could give him another peck on the lips. He put on his glasses and reached for his shirt. Haise, still seated on the bed with his bare legs dangling from the edge, watched him as he put it on. He was naked save for the sheets loosely covering his lower parts. Haise was beautiful with his hair disheveled like that, especially when he had been the one to do that to him._

_“I wish you stayed.” Haise whined and pulled his lover back to himself, fingers wrapped tightly around his belt._

_Arima chuckled but kissed his hair and cupped his face. Haise was so cute. “It’s not like it’s the last time.” He smiled gently and promised him. “I’ll always return to you.”_

It had been the last time.

Two weeks later the Tsukiyama Operation had taken place and like an earthquake had shaken their world, turning it upside down. The rejection that came after, the neglect, the pain… Haise had pulled away from him. His greatest fear had come true. He had barely even seen him in the following months. It had torn him apart yet he had kept quiet, suffered on the inside, slowly becoming an empty shell again. His life source, his soul had left him.

He knew he had deserved it. It hadn’t seemed fair for someone like him to be happy anyway. He had always known that. Now, he was paying the price. The thing he loved the most was taken from him. Giving him so much only to take everything away in the most painful way… What an appropriate punishment. What he had done to others was happening to him.

A perfect revenge.

“It’s over.” Haise declared, lowering his guard. “Your quinque is broken. With it in that state-”

Arima didn’t allow him to finish.

“The battle…” He lunged at him, clutching what remained of his blade. “…continues until one’s opponent is slain.”

_I’m your opponent._

His quinque was blocked by Haise’s kagune arm.

“How very like you…” The boy noted.

He could feel Haise thinking, getting distracted. He was losing his focus again. Using that opening, Arima drew his blade into his abdomen.

_Do it._

“This fight… is decided.” Haise blurted out and looked at him. He was clenching his teeth. Blood trickled down from the corner of his mouth. “Doing this is… useless.”

Arima pulled his blade back.

He was almost going to laugh. _How very like you, Haise._ Even after all Arima had done to him… He still couldn’t.

_Weren’t you the one who tore down the bridges between us?_

He had left him without as much as a word. _Haise_ had loved him unconditionally, without any memories. He had given him everything and Arima had shamelessly taken it even when he knew he shouldn’t. He had taken advantage of his ignorance. _Kaneki_ knew that. He knew the truth and he didn’t love him. He had walked away, he didn’t care if he broke his heart. How badly it had hurt…

_Just finish me off._

“You have no intention of killing me either, then?” His voice was hollow as he spoke.

“I do not.”

Arima saw the determination in his gray eyes. He didn’t know whose eyes he was looking into anymore.

_Who are you?_

“Defeat, huh?” He truly laughed this time. He couldn’t stop himself. “Eighteen years… Eighteen years I’ve been an investigator.” He looked into his eyes again. His smile was sorrowful as he spoke. “This is the first time I am faced with an opponent against whom I have no course of action.”

_I can’t kill you and you won’t kill me either._

“I will ask you one more time.”

Haise’s brows furrowed.

“Do you really have no intention of finishing me off?”

_If you don’t then I…_

“My answer will not change.” Haise stood his ground. Arima couldn’t decipher the look in his eyes.

“I… understand.”

_I love you._

_I love you so much, you have no idea. I’d do anything for you. I’d die for you._

_And I will._

He raised the broken quinque and slit his throat with it.

“Ah…” Their eyes met and Arima felt tears prickle at the corners of his eyes. The pain was so great. The blood rapidly poured out from his wound and he was already feeling lightheaded. Haise stared at him wide eyed. It had all happened in a second but it felt like it took forever. There was a drumming inside of his head.

He lost his balance and stumbled backwards. Haise caught him before he hit the ground.

“What the hell are you doing?” He shouted as he held him in his arms.

“I’ve been waiting all this time…”

He had waited throughout his entire life of slavery. He had waited for him. The one who would set him free… In return, he was setting him free as well, wasn’t he? Wasn’t that enough…

It would be childish to think it was.

“Listen to me… Kaneki Ken.”

He held back his tears as all his secrets poured out of him. The Washuu, the Garden, the V… There was so much he wanted to say. He wanted to say it all, to confess it and get rid of the burden he had been carrying with himself all these years. It crushed his bones, tortured him with every step. He wished that he had been brave enough. Ran like Rize, fought like Eto… Instead he had bowed to his masters will. He had hurt so many people… It crushed him.

_Save me._

“I was the one who killed you.”

He laughed despite the blood filling his throat. He tried to swallow it down. He could barely see Haise’s face now. His beautiful face had been blurred before, now it was half dark. He reached out to stroke his cheek. Haise’s hands were pressed against his throat, desperately trying to stop the bleeding. He leaned close so Arima could touch him. He held his arm tightly.

“Kaneki-”

“ _Haise_.”

Arima smiled. _Of course._

“I love you.” His voice was barely audible now but Haise was close enough to still be able to hear it. “You… I… I’ve always hated it… hated myself who only stole from others-” He coughed blood. _You are my hope._ “I was finally able to… leave something.”

“A-Arima…” Haise’s eyes were wide with shock and full of tears. “D-Don’t leave me…”

He smiled at him through the pain and stroked his tearful cheek with his thumb. His arm was growing numb. He couldn’t feel his soft skin under his finger anymore. His own tears finally started to fall.

He had done so many wrongs. He wanted to believe that he had done at least something right. He wanted to help create the world he always wished he could have lived in. It wouldn’t redeem him, erase his crimes but he wanted do just one good thing.

“H…ai…”

His love, his hope, his savior…

The last thing he felt was a brush against his lips. A final kiss… A farewell.

 

 

 

_“You’ve been away.” Haise wrapped his arms around his neck. “I miss you when you’re gone… When you’re with others…”_

_Arima’s arms encircled his waist and he smiled down at him. He had missed him even harder. Haise had no way of knowing how much. He was his whole world, the life itself. He needed him to know that. To remember that… Arima kissed him hard and spun him around, lifting his feet off the ground. Haise gasped and was greeted with more kisses. “I will always be yours.”_

_“Only mine?” Haise teased him and chuckled, lightly poking his chest._

_“Only yours…” Arima smiled back and pressed a kiss on his neck. “Even in death.”_

Always.  

**Author's Note:**

> I hope I didn't hurt you too much.
> 
> I can't believe the series have come to an end. It was fun to write and imagine all that. I have to admit that I had been intimidated by the prompts at first. I wasn't sure if I could come up with something good. 
> 
> All my readers, thank you again and again. Please share you thoughts with me! You can also always find me on my tumblr if you want to ask or tell me something.
> 
> See you later! (=ﾟωﾟ)ﾉ
> 
> leonee-fiction.tumblr.com


End file.
